Author - Marybeth Sampsel

Safety Alert – Internet and Computer Safety

SAFETY ALERT – INTERNET AND COMPUTER SAFETY. When visiting this blog or any other website concerning domestic violence, it is possible for your abuser to find out you have been getting information. If you are in danger, please try to use a computer that someone abusive does not have direct or remote access to. Here are some suggested precautions from the MCADSV website:

  • If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are.  Abusive people are controlling and want to know your every move.  You don’t need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone’s computer and Internet activities – anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor with programs like Spyware, keystroke loggers and hacking tools.
  • It is NOT possible to delete or clear all the “footprints” of your computer or online activities.  If you are being monitored, it may be dangerous to change your computer behaviors such as suddenly deleting your entire Internet history if that is not your regular habit.
  • If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, be careful how you use your computer since an abuser might become suspicious.  You may want to keep using the monitored computer for innocuous activities, like looking up the weather.  Use a safer computer to research an escape plan, look for new jobs or apartments, bus tickets, or ask for help.
  • Email and Instant/Text Messaging (IM) are NOT safe or confidential ways to talk about the danger or abuse in your life.  If possible, please call a hotline instead.  If you use email or IM, please use a safer computer and an account your abuser does not know about.
  • Computers can store a lot of private information about what you look at via the Internet, the emails and instant messages you send, Internet-based phone and IP-TTY calls you make, web-based purchases and banking, and many other activities.
  • It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a community technology center (CTC), at a trusted friend’s house, or an Internet Cafe.

If you are in danger, please:

  • Call 911
  • Call your local hotline
  • Call a national hotline
  • US National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or TTY at 1-800-767-3224
  • US National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 automatically connect you to a local US rape crisis program near your phone number’s area code.
  • US National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at 1-866-331-9474

Remember that “corded” phones are more private and less interceptable than cordless phones or analog cell phones.

Be aware you may not be able to reach 911 using an Internet phone or Internet-based phone service.  So you may need to be prepared to use another phone to call 911.
Contact your local domestic violence program or shelter to learn about free cell phone donation programs.

The Benefits of Negotiating a Parenting Plan in Montana

As a Kalispell divorce lawyer, I can tell you that for many divorcing Montana couples, negotiating a parenting plan is the most financially, emotionally and physically exhausting part of the process. Furthermore, a lengthy battle over a residential schedule can result in long-term consequences for the minor children involved.

Parents who are able to negotiate a parenting plan for their children without significant court involvement will often reap the benefits. First, by avoiding a trial or hearing on parenting, a parent will likely maintain more control over the future of their relationship with their children. Additionally, divorcing couples may find that they are able to have an amicable relationship moving forward when they have avoided the heated battle of a trial. And perhaps most obviously, a divorce client will likely save thousands of dollars in attorney fees and court costs.

The best way to prepare yourself for negotiating a Parenting Plan is to set aside the negative feelings you have towards your soon-to-be-ex-spouse and focus on what is in the best interest of your children. If you are unable to reach an agreement together, consider attending mediation.

A Child’s Guide to Divorce

One of the most difficult tasks for a divorcing couple here in Motnana is breaking the news to their minor children. It can be tricky to explain such an adult concept to children, particularly when many divorcing couples cannot explain to each other what went wrong. Luckily, there are many resources aimed specifically at children that parents can utilize during this difficult time.

KidsHealth.org has an online “Kid’s Guide to Divorce” that explains divorce in age-appropriate terms and stresses that children are not the cause, nor can they be the savior, when a couple decides to divorce. The site has additional information for children who may be living with a new stepparent or will be moving away.

There are also several children’s books for parents and children to read together while coping with divorce. Most of the books provide a simple, clear way to explain to children that they are still loved by both parents. I recommend the following:

  • Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families by Marc Brown
  • It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear by Vicki Lansky
  • Two Homes by Claire Masurel
  • Standing on My Own Two Feet by Tamara Schmitz

100% Free Legal Advice!!! A warning…

In the age of the internet, information and answers seem to be one click away. But if you are a legal consumer attempting to get their questions answered – BEWARE! Sites are popping up all over the internet that promise free legal advice, 3 Step Divorces, and an answer to every legal question you have ever had. While I encourage individuals to consider all of their options, it is impossible for any lawyer to answer specific legal questions without more information than you can provide on those sites. You will truly get what you pay for.

There is a reason that most lawyers, including many of those in Kalispell, Whitefish, Columbia Falls, Bigfork, Libby, and Polson charge for an initial consultation. In order to answer your specific questions, they must first gather a great deal information regarding your finances, family and children and incorporate it into their analysis. You will usually find that a good consultation takes time, because the lawyer must get all of their questions answered before they can answer yours.

This advice also applies to those individuals that call up a lawyer for a quick piece of information. Remember that you cannot get adequate advice if you do not give adequate background information. It is worth your time and money to make sure you go into a divorce, or any other legal matter, with all the facts.

Groundbreaking Decision by The Montana Supreme Court

Michelle Kulstad and Barbara Maniaci adopted two children during their 10 year committed relationship. Because Montana adoption law does not allow a homosexual couple to adopt a child, Ms. Maniaci legally adopted the children as a single person, but the couple jointly raised the children during their relationship. In 2006, the couple decided to separate and in January 2007, Ms. Kulstad filed a lawsuit to ensure she would be able to continue parenting her children and to receive her share of the property the couple accumulated during the time they were together.

A two day trial took place in May 2008 and a court-appointed expert testified strongly in Ms. Kulstad’s favor, indicating the children had formed a strong bond with Ms. Kulstad and that denying her time with them would be detrimental. The trial court found that Ms. Kulstad had a parent-child relationship and that it was in their best interest to maintain that relationship. Thus, the court granted Ms. Kulstad visitation rights to the children.

Ms. Maniaci appealed the decision to the Montana Supreme Court and oral arguments were heard on behalf of both Ms. Maniaci and Ms. Kulstad. The Montana Supreme Court upheld the decision of the trial court 6 – 1 and upheld the Montana law that recognizes parent-child relationships that arise outside of biology and adoption when certain criteria are met.

Though this case happened to involve a lesbian couple, such a decision could affect many heterosexual couples in Montana. For example, a person who has acted as a parent to a girlfriend/boyfriend’s child may have continuing rights to act as a parent to the child even after the relationship has ended.

IRS Procedure Changes Tax Treatment of Dependents

Generally speaking, the IRS does not allow the non-custodial or parent with the least number of parenting time (in Montana divorce terms) to claim the children as dependents for the purposes of the dependency tax exemption. If a non-custodial parent plans to claim a child, Internal Revenue Section 152(e) requires the custodial or parent with the greatest number of days of parenting time to provide a written declaration that he or she will not claim the child as a dependent for a given tax year. The non-custodial must provide a copy of the declaration to their tax return. For those in Montana, attaching a copy of the Parenting Plan that deals with claiming the tax exemption may suffice.

In August 2008, the IRS released a new procedure that will treat a child as a dependent of BOTH parents under certain circumstances, particularly those relating to medical expenses, medical insurance and certain employee benefits. Internal Revenue Procedure 2008-48 allows a parent to claim a child as a dependent (with the declaration from the other parent) for the following purposes:

  • Exclusions from gross income for employees for certain employer-provided medical reimbursements, including expenses incurred by employees for medical care of a spouse and dependent children (Code Section 105(b));
  • Exclusions from gross income for contributions made on behalf of employees, their spouses and dependent children to an accident or health plan (Code Section 106(a));
  • Exclusions from gross income for “no-additional cost services” that an employer provides to employees, their spouses and dependent children as fringe benefits or qualified employee discounts (Code Sections 132(a) and 132(h)(2));
  • Deductions for medical expenses, including medical expenses of a taxpayer’s spouse or dependent children (Code Section 213(a)); and
  • Exclusions from gross income for distributions from Archer Medical Savings Accounts and Health Savings Accounts that are used to pay for qualified medical expenses of the beneficiary, the beneficiary’s spouse and dependent children (Code Sections 220(f)(1) and 223(f)(1)).

For more information, speak to a tax your tax professional.

Does Smoking Lead to Divorce?

An article from Australia’s Brisbane Times suggests that marrying an opposite is more likely to lead to divorce. Australian National University tracked the relationships of 2,500 couples and found the factors that increased the likelihood of marriage breakdown included differences in age, substance use, work, and desire for children.

The risk of divorce doubled in couples with a significant age difference, particularly in those where the husband was nine or more years older than the wife or the husband is two or more years younger than the wife.
For those couples where one is a smoker and the other is not, the study found the relationships were 75-90% more likely to end than couples that were both non-smokers.

Surprisingly, factors that were not important included differing education levels, religious beliefs and country of birth.  This article made me wonder whether Montana’s recent ban on smoking will have an impact on the divorce rate.  Given the economic conditions we are seeing around Kalispell and the rest of the state, I have trouble imagining that it will make much of a difference.

See the full article at http://news.brisbanetimes.com.au/breaking-news-national/opposites-more-likely-to-divorce-study-20090713-dihh.html.

When Can Little Stevie Choose Which Parent He Wants to Live With?

There are plenty of urban myths about divorce laws, but this one generally takes the cake. In Montana, judges in divorce cases never “let” a child decide which parent they want to live with. However, when considering and determining a parenting plan that is in the best interest of the minor child, judges consider a variety of factors, which may include the wishes of the child. See Montana Code Annotated § 40-4-212. Because the wishes of the child are only one of the factors, the judge may not rule the way the child wants if other factors indicate it may not be in their best interests. Imagine a scenario where a child wants to go live with a parent that has no rules and no curfew. Chances are a judge might find that, although the child desires that living situation, a more structured home environment would be in the child’s best interest.

Judges despise having children testify in court and they rarely allow it. They are very sensitive to children being pulled between parents in family law cases and forcing a child to “choose” can only complicate things for a child. Instead, a judge might appoint a professional to represent the child’s wishes in court. Examples of professionals used in Montana courts are therapists/counselors, an attorney for the child or a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). If a professional is appointed, they will meet with the child, perhaps even do a sort of investigation, and report their findings to the court. One of the downsides to involving professionals is that it often increases the cost of a divorce, as a therapist, attorney or counselor will need to be paid. Many jurisdictions have investigative services available at little to no cost. For example, in Flathead County, Montana, Family Court Services may be appointed by the court to investigate and report on the parenting situation.

Domestic Violence Resources for Flathead County

Unfortunately for many Montanans, domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, is a part of their everyday lives, as well as their divorce. The Centers for Disease Control have termed intimate partner violence as the number one health threat facing women in the United States today. In Montana alone, approximately 18,000 individuals seek direct assistance for issues related to domestic violence including shelter, legal advocacy and crisis counseling.

The Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence (MCADSV) was incorporated in 1986 and today has over 50 programs across the State of Montana that provide services to victims and survivors of violence and their children.

For those individuals residing in Flathead County, Lake County or Lincoln County, Montana, there are a number of domestic violence resources available.  These services help residents of Bigfork, Kalispell, Columbia Falls, Whitefish, Libby, Polson, Ronan, Pablo, and many more.

Violence Free Crisis Line
Office: (406) 752-4735
24-Hour Crisis Line: (406) 752-7273
Service Area: Flathead County

Lincoln County Help Line
Office: (406) 293-9141
24-Hour Crisis Line: (406) 293-3223
www.libby.org/~lcwhl
Service Area: Lincoln County

Lincoln County Victim Witness Program
Office: (406) 293-7781 ext. 276
www.lincolncountymt.us/victim_witness_advocate.htm
Service Area: Lincoln County

CSK Tribal Crime Victim Advocate Program
Office: (406) 675-2700 Ext.1180
Service Area: Flathead Reservation

SAFE Harbor
Office: (406) 676-0800
Service Area: Lake County and Flathead Reservation

DOVES (Domestic Violence Education & Services)
Office: (406) 883-3350
Toll-Free: (800) 831-9987
www.doveslakecounty.org
Service Area: Lake County and the Flathead Reservation

Healthy Montana Kids (HMK) Provides Free or Low-Cost Health Coverage to Eligible Children in Kalispell and Montana

For those Montana families struggling to provide health coverage for their minor children, Healthy Montana Kids or HMK may be an option. HMK is a health plan that provides coverage to eligible Montana children and teenagers up to age 19. Children qualify for coverage under HMK based on the size of their family and income.

The basic eligibility requirements are as follows:

  • Children up to age 19
  • Montana resident
  • US citizen or qualified alien
  • For some families, children must be uninsured for a period of three months (exceptions may apply)
  • For some families, the child’s parent or step-parent may not be employed by the State of Montana or the Montana University system
  • Household income must meet guidelines for household size

Find more information on HMK, as well as a link to an application at http://hmk.mt.gov/index.shtml